Broken Doll
by Writing Tenshi
Summary: When he was 16, Uesugi Eiri's world consisted of just one man: Kitazawa Yuki. A semi AU retelling of fate and unforgiveness in three parts...
1. Part 1

"Love's not like that. It's not sugary sweet. It's not intimate moments in dark rooms."  
  
He took a second to laugh as he continued to read the little lyrics sheet in his hands.  
  
"You'd think you'd never had sex. But let me tell you one thing. There's no such thing as fate."  
  
He looked up.  
  
"Fuck."  
  
***************************************  
Broken Doll by Tenshi  
Part 1 of 3  
***************************************  
  
/February 23,  
Today was my 16th birthday! It's been so busy lately I almost forgot. Sensei says since I'm a high school aged student now, I'll have to study lots more so I can get into a good university. If I'm a hard worker, maybe I can even go to Tokyo University! I don't mind working hard cause then Sensei visits more often. He's so smart and gentle. I hope I can be like him someday.  
Speaking of Sensei, he gave me this brand new laptop for my birthday present. It's a prototype for Sony called Vaio. I'm so lucky. It's very fast, types in both Japanese and English, and Sensei says if I take good care of it, it will last a long long time.  
Tohma-san also got me a gift. There is a concert for a singer he thinks I'll like. Noriko something... I forget. I asked if Sensei could come with and Tohma-san got really mad. I wish they would get along better. Tohma-san said my package from Mika-neesan and Tatsuha would arrive soon. I wonder what it is and why they didn't just wait and bring it with them. They are coming to New York in about a week. It's been 3 years since I last saw them. I wonder if they look any different from how I remember them./  
  
The cursor continued to blink at the end of the last paragraph. The writer seemed deep in thought. Then his face lit up and he began to type again.  
  
/That's all for now diary. My first entry!  
  
Uesugi Eiri/  
  
The young blonde stared at the screen. "My name looks so weird in roman characters," he said to no one in particular.  
  
"What did you say Eiri-kun?" Another short blonde peeked his head into the bedroom, a toothbrush dangling from his mouth.  
  
"Eh? Oh, nothing Tohma-san. Just practicing my English on the laptop Sensei gave me."  
  
Seguchi Tohma's eyes narrowed for a moment and he took the toothbrush out of his mouth, pointing it at Eiri. "Don't spend too long on that thing. It could hurt your eyes. Plus," his tone became happier and a bit mischievous, "there's a package waiting for you in the living room."  
  
"A package?" Eiri quickly stood up. "From who?"  
  
"Mika-chan and Tatsuha-kun. The post office made a special delivery since the package is so large." Tohma smiled and continued slowly down the hall to the bathroom. Eiri rushed past him down the hall into the living room.  
  
A large cardboard box, roughly 2 and a half feet square, was in the middle of the room. Eiri sat down near the box to examine it. It had all sorts of stickers and tape and writing on the outside. American customs had cleared it and the Japanese post office had a large postage label on the top. "15000 yen just to ship? Wow!" Eiri stood up and got to the kitchen to find something to open the box with. The kitchen junk drawer was full of various utensils and knick-knacks. Mixed in with Tohma's keyboard cords and some playing cards was a box knife. Eiri returned to the living room where Tohma was standing over the box.  
  
"Can you believe this? 15000 yen just to get it here. Must be something nice. Your sister is so thoughtful to get it here by your birthday." Tohma smiled slightly at the thought of Uesugi Mika. She was becoming quite an interesting woman last time he'd seen her...  
  
"Tohma-san? Tohma-san? Is something wrong? You look a bit flushed."  
  
"Huh? Oh! Just... nothing... here! Give me the box cutter and I'll open it for you."  
  
Eiri put his hands on his hips and tried to look defiant. "I'm 16 now Tohma-san! I can open a box by myself."  
  
"Fine, fine, your glasses are slipping."  
  
Eiri pushed his glasses back up and muttered. Every time he tried to act grownup, Tohma would make some comment or change the subject. Why couldn't they just invent glasses that couldn't slip? Or maybe Tohma could just understand exactly how old Eiri was. He kneeled down near the box and carefully cut into the tape. Soon it was open and Eiri began taking out the contents.  
  
Angelic Layer Beginner's Kit  
Angelic Layer Angel's Egg  
Angelic Layer Clothing: Rock Star Series  
Angelic Layer Home Practice Kit  
Angelic Layer Membership Package  
  
Eiri stared somewhat puzzled at the various packages now laughing on the carpet beside him. Angelic Layer? He'd never heard of such a thing. The look on Tohma's face made it clear he'd never heard of it either. Eiri looked in the box and found two more small envelopes. It was addressed in the very neat handwriting belonging to his older sister Mika. One was addressed to him, the other to Tohma. Eiri handed Tohma the envelope addressed to him and then opened his own.  
  
/Dear Eiri,  
Hopefully this package reaches you without any problems. Angelic Layer is the latest rage among school kids in Japan. Everyone has one! Supposedly the company will be doing a big American debut in New York too! Tatsuha and I thought you should have your own before then. Go ahead and follow the instructions to make your own Angel! I picked out the clothes. They seemed like something Tohma should wear if he ever becomes a famous rock star. Hope you like them.  
I'm sorry I can't come next week. We have some exams at school and Dad says a high school student like myself has no time for fun. Meanie. But Tatsuha will be there.  
Happy Birthday Eiri! Enjoy!  
Mika-neesan/  
  
Angel? A doll? They got him a doll? (And his sister wasn't coming anymore...)  
  
"I'm 16 and they get me a doll?" He didn't seem at all worried about his sister.  
  
Tohma finished reading his note and seemed quite disappointed about Mika not coming. "I'm sure it's not just any doll. Look at all the stuff."  
  
Eiri frowned and picked up the Angel Egg package. "It's so ugly! No hair or anything. You can't even tell if it's a girl or a guy."   
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"No..." Eiri sighed. "Guess I might as well give it a try." He began to read the instructions. "Open in the bathtub? I'm not taking a bath with a doll! The kitchen sink with work just fine." He took the container and opened it up in the kitchen, washing off the doll like in the instruction booklet. It seemed so light in his hands.  
  
Returning to the living room, he noticed Tohma had already set up what looked like a mini computer and a set of coasters. Tohma took the doll from Eiri and put a little pink wig on top.  
  
"Pink? Is it a girl?"  
  
"I just thought it would match the outfit." Tohma was beaming like a kid in a candy shop.  
  
"You really like new and weird things don't you Tohma-san."  
  
"A good musician experiences many things to make good songs." Tohma said in a matter-of-fact sort of tone. He put the doll between the two coasters and turned on a switch. The doll began to float and the computer screen flashed with a colorful Angelic Layer welcome screen.  
  
Then it was time for business.  
  
[Please choose your parameters.]  
"Hmmm... well... how about..." Eiri looked at the pink haired doll. "lots of energy and fast. Not very strong though. Small... but nimble... Hmm.... there!"  
  
The lights around the coasters began to flash and Eiri could watch the doll take shape. It was getting shorter, but more human like with some sort of skin covering. Then it opened its eyes.  
  
Purple.  
  
Such a beautiful shade of purple... like Sensei's when he wore those color contacts last year...  
  
[Please choose a name.]  
"A name?"  
  
Tohma looked hard at the floating doll. "It's so small... it could live in a shoebox."  
  
"Shoe..." Eiri repeated and he typed it into the computer. Then he quickly erased it. The doll came from Japan and deserved a proper sounding Japanese name.  
  
"Shuuo... Shuutarou..." Eiri started sounding out various male sounding names. "Shuusuke... Shuuya... Shuuichi..." Eiri looked at the doll again. Somehow that last name fit.  
  
[Shuuichi.]  
  
The computer powered down and the doll closed its eyes again. It slumped to the tabletop and Eiri gently sat it upright. He pulled out the clothing and started to dress the doll. It really was like something a rock star would wear. 2 white elbow length gloves without fingers, 2 white knee high boots, white hot pants with a chunky black belt, a black stretchy tight fitting sleeveless skirt, and to top it off, a long white sleeveless coat that zippered at the top.  
  
"Not bad Eiri, not bad." Tohma smiled at him and patted his shoulder. "Wish I had an outfit like that. Now get to bed. You can do the rest tomorrow after your lesson with Kitazawa-san." Mentioning the name seemed to bring up those fighting spirits in Tohma, so Eiri thought it best to just agree.  
  
"Alright. Goodnight Tohma-san!" Eiri looked at his new doll. Somehow it seemed he should take the doll to bed with him. He shook his head and frowned. It could sleep on the couch for all he cared.  
  
"I'm 16! I don't take dolls to bed!"  
  
Eiri looked at the doll again. And sighed.  
  
"Come on Shuuichi, let's go to bed."  
  
~to be continued~  
  
Author's Notes: I've always wanted to do a story about Eiri as a boy and the relationship between him and his teacher, Kitazawa Yuki. I was inspired by Ran Mouri's story, combining Angelic Layer and Gravitation. This story does a similar thing, combining the actual dolls and functions of Angelic Layer as found in the original manga with characters from Gravitation. However, rather than being a crossover, I'd like to consider it a Gravitation story retelling fanfic with Angelic Layer references. Angelic Layer is not the main point of the story, as it will become clear in the next part (heehee, I've already written everything so I don't flake out this time ^_^;;). My hope is that the story is enjoyable enough even for those who no nothing about Angelic Layer. 


	2. Part 2

Kitazawa Yuki gently opened the door to young Eiri's bedroom. Bright morning sunlight was trying to infiltrate the room through some closed blinds. Everything was in perfect order as usual. Eiri's textbooks were neatly stacked on the desk.  
Japanese  
Math  
Social Studies  
History  
  
It almost made him sick.  
  
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Broken Doll by Tenshi  
Part 2 of 3  
***************************************  
  
A normal 16 year old's room should be messy, with posters, and dirty laundry on the floor. Yuki sighed. Eiri was so transparent, always trying to please him. The way he talked, the way he politely changed his correct answers into whatever his teacher said. This kind of respect... this kind of affection... was unnatural to say the least. Sometime soon he'd have to have a serious talk with him. Right now there were more pressing matters. It was time for Eiri to get up.  
  
"Eiri-kun..." he whispered gently.  
  
"Hmm..." the young boy moaned back. "Sensei..." He gave a small giggle in his sleep. "Sensei...you're...my...I..." Eiri unconsciously pulled the blankets closer to his face to hide a smile.  
  
Yuki frowned. Now Eiri was having dreams about him? That talk would have to come sooner than later. He placed a hand on Eiri's shoulder and rocked him a little. "Eiri-kun," he repeated, a little more sternly.  
  
Instead of the desired effect, Eiri grasped the hand tightly and brought it to his face. "Sensei...I..." he mumbled and then quietly switched into his more familiar native language. "Sensei ga suki."  
  
Yuki freed his hand and stared at his pupil. Did he even understand what he was saying? In Japan, Eiri was already picked on for his unusual blonde hair and golden hazel eyes. Did he really want to add this to his list? And even if he did...  
  
"It's time to get up Eiri-kun. If you don't get up soon, we'll be late picking up Tatsuha-kun." Yuki went over to the window and opened the blinds. The sunlight poured into the room. This finally woke up the sleeping prince. Eiri rubbed his eyes and when he noticed Yuki, he quickly covered himself with his blanket like a bashful schoolgirl.  
  
"Sensei!"  
  
"Morning Eiri-kun. You've got 45 minutes until we need to leave. I'll be in the kitchen." With that Yuki left the room.  
  
Eiri sighed. It seemed Yuki-sensei was a little upset with Eiri. Maybe he had been trying to wake him up for awhile? In any case...he pulled the blankets away from his body. His shorts were...stained...and sticking up slightly. He'd been having one of those dreams about Sensei. The kind where Sensei took him somewhere fun and Eiri could tell him how he felt. He had been having these dreams ever since meeting Yuki-sensei three years ago, but they had grow in intensity, frequency... and meaning. He had long come to terms with the dreams. Tohma-san had explained all about the birds and the bees one night when Eiri had been working on a Health assignment. It was just...he'd never met anyone like Sensei before. Sensei was perfect. He was funny and smart. He was always honest with Eiri. But Eiri could never really tell Sensei how he felt. What if he was rejected? What if Sensei left? It was better to keep it a secret. He just hoped Sensei hadn't noticed anything while trying to wake him up.  
  
It didn't take long for Eiri to shower and dress. With 15 minutes to spare, he went down to the kitchen. Yuki-sensei was making some breakfast.  
  
"Pancakes!"  
  
"Yep, about the only thing I can make."  
  
"Oh, that can't be true. I bet you can cook all sorts of things Sensei."  
  
There was a small pause.  
  
"Eiri...kun?"  
  
"Yes, Sensei?" Eiri got nervous. The way he paused...the way he had said his name. What if he had found out? What if he had heard something?!  
  
"Hmmm..." another pause. "Ah, nothing. Here. Eat fast." Yuki passed a plate to Eiri. Now probably wasn't a good time to talk. Eiri was looking forward to seeing his brother after a long separation. There was no reason to spoil his day.  
  
Eiri looked at the plate and gave an inward sigh of relief. If Sensei hadn't said anything, it probably wasn't important. That meant there was no need to worry, right? He put a little bit of syrup on his pancake and dug in.  
  
----  
  
People started filing off the plane looking tired and a bit unsteady on their feet. The flight from Tokyo to the busiest airport in New York was a grueling 13 hours. Most of the passengers were businessmen or elderly couples. However, mixed in with them was a short black haired boy barely 10 years of age. He was filled with energy, excited by being in America for the first time. All the sights and sounds, so many foreigners! Behind him was a rather tired looking flight attendant. She was carrying a backpack and quickly passed it over to the outstretched arms of Tatsuha before heading straight to the nearest bar.  
  
"Aniki!"  
  
"Tatsuha!"  
  
They immediately started to talk in Japanese, waiting at the terminal as Yuki walked to the baggage claim area to pick up Tatsuha's remaining luggage. The subject of Angelic Layer came up soon and Tatsuha wrestled a Shounen Ace comic out of his backpack. He flipped past a few comics including "Angelic Layer: The Official Story" to a two page ad all about Angelic Layer. There was a store location list of all the places in Tokyo where you could buy official Angelic Layer goods. A small section on one page was dedicated to advice on moving your Angel well.   
  
"You should really pick up a copy of Shounen Ace when they come out Aniki. There are all sorts of great tips in here."  
  
Eiri read the tip section. "Put lots of emotion into your movements. Try practicing with your favorite music or dance video." He hadn't thought of that. In truth, he hadn't even tried Angelic Layer again since he made Shuuichi that first night. If he liked it after trying with Tatsuha though, maybe he would pick up a copy of Shounen Ace at the nearby Kinokuniya bookstore.  
  
"Yeah, you really have to put lots and lots of feeling into it. I practice with music all the time! Look here Aniki." Tatsuha pointed to a section marked "This time's Angel". There was a picture of an Angel in a weird blue outfit along with some parameter stats and a picture of a boy that looked about Eiri's age. "He's a really popular Deus right now. Deus Mihara Oujirou and Angel Wizard."  
  
"Deus?" Eiri pronounced the unfamiliar word. It didn't sound English or Japanese.   
  
"Didn't you read the instructions? A Deus is a person who owns and controls an Angel."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Anyways, look at this." Tatsuha passed the comic to Eiri and pointed to the article on the second page.   
  
"Great Debut in New York!" Eiri read. "Hmmm..." In a few weeks there was going to be a big event, the first Piffle Princess store to be opened in America. This included a debut of their top selling Angelic Layer dolls. The article said there would be a demonstration and a practice area for free. Apparently Piffle Princess wanted to have 20 stores nationwide by 4 years time. The first American tournament would be in 2 years. The article writer said Angelic Layer would be the wave of the future, creating better international relations among all people.  
  
"Rather ambitious, aren't they?"  
  
"So you gonna go?" Tatsuha was beaming with excitement.  
  
"I don't know..." Eiri said hesitantly.  
  
"What? You've had your doll for a whole week now and you aren't even interested enough to go?"  
  
"Well...I..."  
  
"Aniki..." Tatsuha said with some amount of shock. "Don't tell me you haven't tried it yet!"  
  
"I haven't had time! I made Shuuichi the night the package came but I haven't had time to do anything else."  
  
"Shuuichi? What a boring name." Tatsuha sounded a little put off.  
  
"Hey! I doubt yours is much better."  
  
Tatsuha blushed.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Okay, okay, it's Ryuuichi."  
  
There was a blank stare, followed by some muffled giggling.  
  
"Ryuuichi named after Sakuma Ryuuichi!" Tatsuha cried indignantly. "He's a new up and coming solo artist. Someday he's going to be big...Godlike even! The outfit we sent you is from a series of outfits inspired by him!"  
  
Eiri ignored the little idol worship session and continued to rib his younger brother. "Ryuuichi isn't any cooler of a name than Shuuichi is."  
  
"It is too! And I bet mine looks cooler too." Tatsuha went rummaging through his bag again. He pulled out a small blanket-wrapped bundle and began to carefully unwrap it. Inside was a tiny doll, about the same height as Shuuichi. It was wearing a cowboy style hat over short brown hair, a white ruffled shirt, and some tight blue jeans. Kind of like Shuuichi, you could tell it was a guy...but you couldn't be so sure.  
  
Tatsuha smiled big. "When we get home, I'll show you just how cool he is."  
  
----  
  
Eiri frowned as he stared through the blue lenses of his headset. "Walk" he whispered.  
  
On the tabletop practice Layer, little Shuuichi began to walk rather mechanically. "Turn." Shuuichi turned around and then fell down.  
  
Eiri took off the headset and sighed. Two weeks of practice and he hadn't gotten very far. When Tatsuha was here, he'd been able to get Ryuuichi to do all sorts of things. He'd been able to jump high and do karate moves, all while keeping the little cowboy hat on. He had even played the latest Sakuma Ryuuichi single and made it seem like little Ryuuichi was dancing and singing along.  
  
Eiri, on the other hand, could barely get Shuuichi to walk faster than a snail. The comic had said something about putting a lot of emotion into it but... How could be put emotion into a stupid broken doll that didn't even work right. Eiri picked Shuuichi up off the layer and stuck him on his desktop.  
  
"You're so annoying," he said to the deaf doll. "You take up my time, keep me from what I need to do, and you aren't even worth it. I wish..."  
Eiri sighed and pushed Shuuichi to a far corner of the desk. "I wish you'd just get out of my life."  
Another sigh. "And you haven't even done anything wrong. It's all my fault you're acting like a broken doll."  
  
With that admission of failure, Eiri decided to put the doll out of his mind and focus on his English studies. Sensei would arrive soon and there was a poem assignment due. He booted up his laptop and looked at what he had written so far. He was supposed to write a poem about himself...but so far it was turning out into something quite sappy. He decided to scrap it. It was trash. All his writing was trash. It was probably just Sensei who liked it and said it was good. His writing would never sell in the real world. The little clock above his desk said there were only 20 minutes left.  
  
"But what to write?" he murmured while a little cursor flashed on his laptop screen.  
  
----  
  
Yuki sat in Eiri's chair, reading the poem Eiri had created.  
  
/Wherever I am  
I am without air  
Suffocation  
Needing  
Yet never seeking  
Is the air dirty?  
Or is that the illusion  
Pulled by  
Fate  
I am without  
Wherever I am/  
  
  
"Eiri-kun."  
  
"Yes Sensei?" This was different from most of what he wrote. Somehow the idea of dirtiness and loneliness appealed to him somewhere deep inside.  
  
"Your writing is quite impressive. That you can manipulate words in English with such skill after just 3 years of study is nothing short of amazing. Your Japanese poetry, the haikus and such, also convey a lot of emotion."  
  
Eiri nodded, trying not to look too happy about being praised by his teacher.  
  
"But this assignment was supposed to be about yourself. Is there something you want to tell me?"  
  
Admit that I love you? Admit that I'm only happy when you are near? Admit that I liked writing something so... dark? Eiri remained mute.  
  
"Eiri-kun."  
  
"Yes Sensei?"  
  
Yuki paused and carefully choose his words. "There is no such thing as fate. No fated meetings. No fated one true love. Everything is the result of your will."  
  
Eiri remained silent as he pondered the unusual serious words from his teacher.  
  
"Eiri." Yuki dropped the standard suffix.  
  
He didn't reply right away. The first thing he could say was a question. "Everything?"  
  
Yuki was pleased to see Eiri taking this seriously, although it didn't really surprise him. Perhaps he'd be able to approach the subject of Eiri's feelings indirectly, without hurting the boy.   
  
"Everything," he said firmly. "Your feelings, your actions, you control them. You must control them." In other words, he thought to himself, you have to control these feelings you have about me.  
  
There was an awkward silence before Eiri spoke. "It's easier to believe in fate, isn't it Sensei."  
  
"Yes." Yuki decided on a partial lie. If you were fighting fate, it was harder. If you were fighting society, it was harder. But that would only encourage Eiri. "It takes a much stronger person to believe in themselves instead."  
  
Eiri nodded his head and seemed to agree. The wheels in his head were obviously turning, thinking, pondering various emotions.  
  
"Eiri."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Let's stop with lessons today. Let's..." Yuki quickly scanned around until his eyes settled on Eiri's little doll Shuuichi. "Why don't you show me how Shuuichi works?"  
  
"I...I can't do it well." Eiri said, semi-ashamed. "Tatsuha says I don't put enough emotion into it."  
  
"That seems rather surprising considering your poetry."  
  
"That's..." Eiri started but caught himself before saying "about you".  
  
"Maybe you just don't have any inspiration. In Japan, all the kids learn fast to be like their peers. You don't have that pressure."  
  
"Maybe..."  
  
"Anyways, I suppose I'll just go then. Maybe when you get Shuuichi working, you can show me." Yuki stood up and went to the doorway. "Just think about what I said, okay?"  
  
Eiri nodded and sat down on his bed as he watched his teacher leave. A part of him felt clouded over. If Yuki-sensei said there was no such thing as fate, then Eiri would have to make doubly sure to work hard. Perhaps...if it was just up to his will...he could be with Sensei like in his dreams. Maybe Sensei was encouraging him. But where could they go? Eiri looked at Shuuichi. The Angelic Layer debut! That'd be fun.  
  
Eiri raced out of the house and out to the street. His beloved teacher was about a block up the street on foot.  
  
"Yuki-sensei! Yuki-sensei!"  
  
Yuki turned around, surprised to see Eiri running towards him.  
  
"Yuki-sensei, will you take me to the Angelic Layer debut tomorrow?"  
  
Yuki smiled. "Sure Eiri-kun."  
  
"Thanks!" Eiri returned an even bigger smile. He bowed to his teacher and then went back inside the house.  
  
Yuki continued walking down the street, quite proud of himself. He hadn't had to embarrass Eiri at all, but had masterfully turned Eiri's attentions from himself to a new hobby.  
  
Or so he thought anyways.  
  
~to be continued~  
  
Author's Notes: Well... long chapter. ^_^;; This doesn't exactly seem to be one of the more popular stories I've done, is it? Perhaps I should stick to just writing really sappy stuff... Oh well, hopefully people will read this chapter. The ending will pull everything together. So please just hang in there for me! ^_^;;  
  
Thanks to my one sole reviewer: Tenshi no Megami!  
Hopefully more people review? ^_^;; Good or Bad, both will help me learn. Well... flames are unhelpful... but you get the picture. 


	3. Part 3 Finale

Hair?   
Eiri pushed a couple loose strands back down and put just a touch of gel on it to keep it in place.  
  
Teeth?  
Eiri brushed his teeth hard, making sure to get every section. Then he used some minty mouth wash just to make sure his breath smelled nice.  
  
Clothes?  
Eiri pulled down the edge of his blue wool sweater and adjusted the stiff collar of the white shirt underneath.   
  
Everything was perfect.  
  
Today was going to be perfect.  
  
***************************************  
Broken Doll by Tenshi  
Part 3 of 3  
***************************************  
  
Eiri double checked everything one last time. Today was his big chance with Sensei. It would be just the two of them, alone, no interruptions. He could tell Sensei how he felt. He would be strong and express himself, because Sensei had encouraged him. Sensei had told him that everything was the result of his will. He could control his life if he wanted to.  
  
Eiri wanted a life with Sensei.  
  
"Eiri-kun!"  
  
"Yes?" Eiri left the bathroom and walked to the kitchen where Tohma was eating breakfast.   
  
"Are you ready for today? Kitazawa will be here any minute." The word "Kitazawa" coming from Tohma seemed like such a dirty thing. Eiri frowned and sat down at the table.  
  
"Yes, I'm ready."  
  
"Where is Shuuichi?"  
  
Eiri pointed towards the doorway. "In my backpack already by the front door. I also packed my lunch and made sure my keys are in there too."  
  
Tohma sighed. "Okay then. Just behave yourself today and if he does anything to you..."  
  
The doorbell rang. Eiri quickly rushed over and opened the door. "Hello Sensei! Today is going to be a wonderful day, isn't it?"   
  
Yuki stepped inside and nodded. "I can't wait to show Yoshiki Angelic Layer. I think he'll enjoy it."  
  
"Yoshiki?" Eiri puzzled over the unfamiliar name.   
  
"Yeah." Yuki motioned behind and a small, skinny boy walked through the doorway and politely bowed. "This is my younger brother Yoshiki. You guys have met before. Remember when we went to the Aquarium?" Eiri remembered the trip... but he certainly didn't remember any younger brother. And besides! Today was supposed to be his special day with Sensei! Having a little tagalong would ruin everything!  
  
"Isn't Yoshiki a little young for Angelic Layer?" Eiri tried to lie. Maybe it'd be possible for Yoshiki to stay in the house with Tohma for the day. Then again, Tohma probably wouldn't agree to do anything nice for Yuki.  
  
"Nah, he's older than your brother Tatsuha-kun. I think Yoshiki will pick it up fast too."  
  
"Oh... okay..."  
  
Eiri picked up his backpack and waved good-bye to Tohma. "Bye Tohma-san!"  
  
"Bye Eiri-kun. Be back by 6 o'clock, OK?"  
  
"6?! But the main tournament won't even start until 5!"  
  
"7 o'clock then."  
  
"But..."  
  
Yuki stepped in. "Don't worry. I'll make sure to have Eiri-kun home by 7 o'clock." Tohma muttered "you better" under his breath and then waved good-bye.   
  
----  
  
The walk to the new Piffle Princess store was unbearably quiet. Everyone seemed to be thinking about their own situation. Poor Yoshiki was painfully aware that Eiri didn't want him there, but his brother had insisted that he come along. Yuki was happy to guide his student into a hobby that would be appropriate for a boy his age. There was finally something he could do besides study. Maybe this would be the start to brand new Eiri, an Eiri that had comics and posters and dirty clothes on the floor.  
  
Eiri was another story. He trailed behind the two Kitazawa brothers. It seemed impossible to do what he wanted now. It was hard enough getting up the courage to talk with Sensei, but now that his little brother was along too? Eiri looked at Yoshiki. He had the same color hair and eyes as Sensei. Part of him wondered if that's what Sensei looked like when he was younger. It was almost... cute. But Eiri was still mad at Yoshiki for ruining his day. When he noticed that Yoshiki had caught him staring, he gave the small boy a sneer and Yoshiki quickly looked away.  
  
Eiri made up his mind. There was no way he was going to let a small pipsqueek ruin his day. It may be more difficult, but if Eiri tried hard, today could be just as special and wonderful as he had planned. Eiri rummaged through his backpack and pulled out Shuuichi. Then he ran to catch up with Yuki and started walking next to him.  
  
"Hey Sensei..."  
  
"Yes Eiri-kun?" Yuki looked down at Eiri. His face was semi-flush. It was good to see his pupil so excited about today.   
  
Eiri held up Shuuichi. "Do you think Yoshiki might want to take a look at Shuuichi for a moment?"  
  
"I bet he would." Yuki took the small doll from Eiri and showed it to Yoshiki. "This is Shuuichi, okay? Take good care of him. Maybe Shuuichi can be your friend too." Yoshiki smiled and took the doll. Since he was busy thinking about the doll, he walked slower. Now Eiri and Yuki were just a little more alone than before.  
  
"Sensei?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You know how you told me I need to take control of my actions? I want to start doing that. I want to start today."  
  
"That's great Eiri-kun. Today you'll meet all sorts of other people who like Angelic Layer too. Maybe you'll finally make some friends here. Your English isn't anything like when you first moved here, so I'm sure it'll be easy for you to communicate."  
  
"That's... not really want I meant."  
  
The two came to the end of the sidewalk. The crosswalk signal was red so they stood there at the corner looking at each other.  
  
"Eiri..." Yuki felt disappointed. Maybe he hadn't been so successful in redirecting Eiri's feelings.  
  
"Sensei..." Eiri looked straight up at his teacher. Those eyes were always so honest, and right now they had that perfect touch of sadness. That look of some secret that Eiri desperately wanted to be a part of.  
  
The light changed and Yuki started to cross. "Come on." he motioned.   
  
Eiri refused to cross. If he didn't do it now...  
  
"SENSEI GA SUKI!" Eiri yelled. The tears started to run down his eyes. Everything was in his control. He just had to believe. He just had to...  
  
notice  
  
...that his teacher, his beloved teacher of three years with beautiful hair and eyes, with the brightest smile and sense of humor...  
  
was shaking his head. He wasn't saying anything. He just stood in the middle of the road, shaking his head.  
  
Eiri refused to be refused. "I love you Sensei!" Eiri began to cross the street; his voice wavering slightly. "You said I had to control my actions and control my feelings. And I am! I'm..." But the teacher just kept shaking his head.  
  
It wasn't fair.   
  
Eiri shook his head rapidly back and forth. It wasn't fair. Sensei had lied to him! He heard screaming. It's my own voice, he thought to himself. It must be. This wasn't the way it was meant to be! How could live... How could he even go forward knowing that his teacher just didn't... It wasn't fair. It couldn't be like this. He couldn't bear to see his teacher each day if... Eiri wiped some tears from his eyes and looked down at his feet.  
  
Shuuichi was lying on the street. The left arm was bending back in an unusual, tortured sort of way. Eiri quickly picked up the doll and looked around for Yoshiki. "Yoshiki!! What have you done to Shuuichi!!" As the words left his mouth, he could hear Yoshiki screaming. It hadn't been his voice. Why was Yoshiki screaming?  
  
He looked at the street again. There was a tiny trail of a dark, thick liquid finding its way to the curb. Eiri fell on his knees and refused to believe. There was a car. It was stopped in the middle of the street. There was a boy. He was sobbing and shaking a lifeless body. There was a teacher, and there was a teacher no more. The crosswalk signal was red. It was Eiri's fault.   
  
"It's my fault," he whispered.  
  
He had caused Yuki to stop in the middle of the street. He had distracted him. It was his fault.  
  
"my fault..."  
  
Eiri burst into tears and started to scream like Yoshiki. "It's my fault!!!"  
  
----  
  
Eiri sat on the sidewalk hugging his knees. An ambulance was taking its time doing its job as he, Yoshiki, and Tohma watched. Tohma was holding Eiri tightly. It kind of hurt but it was okay. It was his fault anyway. He had killed his teacher. If he hadn't done what he had done, none of this would have happened. Tohma was whispering to him that everything would be fine. It wouldn't be. Tohma wasn't very good at lying.  
  
Eiri looked around at some of the people that had stopped to stare. They were pathetic. Maybe more so than he was. No...he stopped himself. It was my fault. There are none lower. There were two elderly ladies making chit chat about how slow things were going.  
  
"Did you see him before?"  
"Oh yes," the other replied, "It was quite gruesome."  
"He was almost like a broken doll."  
  
Eiri pulled himself away from Tohma and threw up over the sidewalk.  
  
----  
  
"They said he looked like a broken doll?" The $500 an hour psychiatrist made another mark in her notebook.  
  
"Yes. That's what they said."   
  
"Why do you think they said that?"  
  
"Because he did."  
  
"What did you do with Shuuichi after that?"  
  
"I threw him away. Can... no... I'm leaving." Yuki Eiri got up from his seat and put on his coat. He threw a few bills on the chair and then walked out of the office. He continued walking out the hospital, down the block, and wound up in a deserted park.   
  
It was already late at night. Those stupid clinics were always behind schedule. He found a bench and proceeded to light up a cigarette. He tried to calm down. He didn't want to remember that day. Why did those so-called therapists always want to talk about the same day? Eiri took another puff.   
  
It was true that he had thrown the broken toy away. It seemed sad at the time. He threw away everything with that doll. He'd no longer act like a spoiled child. He wanted to go back to Japan. He'd become a writer. A romance novel writer even. Which was as absurd as anything else in his loveless life. There had been women since then. Plenty of women. The needy kind that expected he'd be as sweet and generous and caring as the men in his novels. They were all disappointed, and he didn't really care. For a brief moment, Eiri almost wished he had that doll back. He wanted it back. Everything.  
  
Eiri stood up and stretched. It was time to go back home. There was beer at home and better cigarettes than those he could buy in a vending machine. He started to walk forward when he stepped on a small piece of paper. He picked it up and frowned.  
  
"Love's not like that. It's not sugary sweet. It's not intimate moments in dark rooms."  
  
He took a second to laugh as he continued to read the little lyrics sheet in his hands.  
  
"You'd think you'd never had sex. But let me tell you one thing. There's no such thing as fate."  
  
He looked up.  
  
"Fuck."  
  
~The End~  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, so I am a flake!! . I didn't like my original ending and I couldn't think of a better one... and then I got a few more reviews and felt like I should really finish it! So... here's the ending... Thanks for reading :) 


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